Tumultuos Being

Anonymous asked: By the way Im really sorry about the terrible syntax in my last two posts it is primarily because this site expects one to provide empty answers and ensures this by imposing a most arduous word limit. I look forward to sharing thoughts with you (as conflicting as they may seem.) And would like to strengthen the already flagrant confidence you must have in your writing skills.... * (my future "questions" will be signed off like this*)

Dear Anonymous,

I was not able to read your previous posts; this is the first one I receive from you, so please there is absolutely no need for pardon. In all truth, the essence of this “blog” and all it may contain was purely meant as self expression, a manner of emotional release which I savor through the art and immensity of words. It is a little bewildering to receive feedback. The idea of a stranger reading thru my thoughts is ironically aberrant- ironic, due to the fact that my thoughts are after all posted on the World Wide Web.  

It allows for a great deal of criticism which results in daunting pressure in regard to the fastidiousness and quality of my writing. However, I certainly do look forward to engaging in that insurmountable debate: the depth of the human mind.  

Candidly,                          

Enirys Darmneb 

“I talk to god but the sky is empty”- Sylvia Plath 

Beauty is the disinterested one, without which the ancient world refused to understand itself, a word which both imperceptibly and yet unmistakably has bid farewell to our new world, a world of interests, leaving it to its own avarice and sadness. -Hans Urs von Balthasar 

Fear prevailed , the fear of the desolate, of the unknown. Farewell is all one hungered for and all one lusted for , a feeling of peace , not of happiness but of conciliation… One was tired and now more then ever one feels like their is no light to the tenebrous, elongated tunnel. One is cowardly, a coward that can’t bid farewell… The tunnel is long as one sees it pass by , hoping and wishing for an ending , peace, resembling Shakespeare’s denouement… “One” is encumbered by the sense of reality ,realizing that the human can all but endure a minimal amount of misery … In the midst of misery does one make use of excessive hyperbole , perhaps but the surmount of desire and lust for escape , for conciliation is at a peak… One’s priorities vary but when that passion for living is gone so does life in it’s entirety . The feeling of isolation of abandonment , the feeling of giving up is all that passes through one’s mind. One hangs on to all their is ; the sense of faith implemented at a young age, however , in melancholy that “power” is astray, faith is but an excuse… - Enirys Darmneb 

Before leaving this earth a sudden urge took me, one that was writing. This is dedicated to the life I never lived or loved.  Life takes you places you would never have wondered, its ironic how we the human race personify it as it is all but human. She is the lover you never wanted to have, too strong to manage, to beautiful to lose and most of all it’s everything you never ever imagined to want. How does one describe what they are enduring or the feeling they have at this precise moment?  You might wonder what “precise moment”? Hopefully it will be a moment you will never have to live, as this moment decides the actions you will take for the rest of your life or lack thereof.  This letter or whatever atrocious prose it might end up being is no, not a suicide letter but a combination of words that’s main purpose are to relieve from emotions –for a lack of better words. I am careless at whether or not the reader will find this appealing as its complications are far more intricate then this papers surface. Where to start? I could write for two scores and never stop, fortunately tonight are my last hours on this earth, perhaps in this universe. The act of taking your life is not what creates fear; the unknown is the essence of one’s fear. Actually for the sake of conciseness, the unknown and the risk of failure in taking your life are the source, the very essence of one’s fear. I’m amazed at how complex the human mind is, its intricacies are much too profound to be revealed. -Enirys Darmneb

To be continued….